Arrrrgh. Times Two.

Okay, no calls last night...but I took the phone off the hook so I don't know if they tried to call. It really irritates me that I have to take my phone off the hook to sleep...nevermind the fact that if an ACTUAL emergency happened, then I wouldn't find out about it.
SO...
My this morning Dad's VA Dr. called and said that there wasn't a bed available at the Geropsychiatric unit in Menlo Park, but there was a bed available at the Palo Alto Psych unit and they could admit him there and then transfer him when one was available at the other facility.
Okay, I think?
So I call the Nursing Home Daddy's at to tell them I'm coming to take him...to make sure he was awake, ready, etc. before I got there...and they tell me I CAN'T take him...that they need a Doctors order.
Huh?
I brought him there, admitted him...but I can't take him out?
3 conversations with 3 nurses later, they say they will call the onsite Doctor because HE has to give me permission to take my Dad.
I'm missing something.
They say that THEY are responsible for him, so that even if I wanted to take him HOME to MY house, they would have to give ME permission.
Uh, I didn't SIGN my Dad over to them, he is not their "ward"...he is merely a resident at their facility...that we are paying for.
Anyway, they say they'll "try" to get the paperwork done and contact the Doctor.
I say I'm coming in 30 minutes regardless.
I call my brother to see if there is any possible way he could come with me in case Dad gets out of hand. Hubby is home, but bringing him means bringing the kids...not an option. Brother said he could come! Yippppee! So I am going to pick Dad up then pick up brother on the way to the VA.
Then the VA Doctor calls back and says the Palo Alto VA just told her that the bed she was going to reserve was being reserved for someone else...but they're trying to make it official, so they'll get back to her...and that I should just hold on until she (if) she calls me back.
Ummm...so do I call the facility my Dad's at and cancel the whole paperwork trail and "getting permission"...or call my brother first to tell him the whole thing is off for now?
I leave a message with brother.
About 20 minutes later, the VA Dr. calls and says she's got the bed, to come now, before she leaves for lunch. It's a 30 minute drive to get Dad, and another 30-ish minute drive to get brother and get to the VA. No time to spare.
Brother calls just in time, he'd just gotten my "hold on" message...and I tell him we're back on.
I go to get Dad.
I wasn't prepared for seeing the way he looked in that Gery Chair thing. He was standing up in it, but he looked so pale and sad and he started crying as soon as he saw me. He thought he was in Albuquerque, NM...and that we'd left him there. Oh god, please don't cry, please don't cry, I tell myself.
They had already shoved all his clothes in a big plastic bag and he was ready to go except I had some paperwork to get.
I kept seeing this one guy milling around...not a patient...someone who looked like he worked there. But I was too busy to pay too much attention to him at the time.
Two Nurses helped my Dad and me out to the car...and as we're pulling out of the parking lot, the guy who was milling around came and tapped on my window. Apparently he was their Social Worker and wanted to know why I was taking my Dad out so suddenly. Not that I had time anyway, but I wasn't about to have that conversation with my Dad sitting there.
Many Doctors just freely discuss their "demented" patients right in front of them because they figure they won't recall any of it. That still doesn't seem right to me. I told the guy I would call him later.
So of course I got lost trying to pick up brother from work. I am so scatterbrained these days, getting lost is the least of my problems.
But we finally get to the VA, meet with the Dr. and she chats with Daddy for a few minutes. She was alarmed at how much he had declined since she last saw him a couple of months ago.
She tells us to go get Daddy some lunch while she does paperwork and orders the Ambulance.
I am feeling anxious.
Daddy has a hard time eating...he is kind of jerky and shaky. Brother gets the fun of taking to the bathroom afterward this time. That is an ordeal everytime...I should know!
I kept it together pretty well until they got Daddy into the Ambulance. Daddy had already been crying off and on and I had to look away, or think of something that annoys me to keep from bawling. I lost my "composure" when we were walking away from the Ambulance.
None of this is right.
He shouldn't have to go to a place like that. But I know that I have literally exhausted all other options, myself, hubby, and my two kids in the process of trying to make things the way IIIIII want them to be for him.
It's not what is the reality here and I have to accept that.

This will not be easy.