Saturday, January 31, 2009

WOW. More "Family Love"



When even this Super Cool B.S.-ing Jesus thinks you should start making alternative plans and stocking up on sunscreen, you may have a problem.


Ranting shall begin in 5, 4, 3, 2....
Word is that the relatives in New Mexico had their own service for MY Dad. They said they "sent him off the right way"...because we didn't. They are saying that they think we didn't call them because we feel guilty about taking all the money.
All of WHAT money? WTF? No, really, WTF???????
I am not about to mince words here...not anymore...I am not going to try to be nice or not say what should've been said a long time ago...my Dad wanted nothing to do with these people. My Dad was tolerant of them and visited with them when he had to. My Dad was afraid of his own shadow, and them. He would NEVER have told them what he REALLY thought. They were his sister's kids, and he loved his sister.
Here are some facts to sum this situation up.
When Nany died, My Dad and his sister split Nany's money IN HALF.
Exactly IN HALF.
One cousin even went with us to witness the transaction so we didn't rip THEM off.
As if.
We are now seeing who the thieves REALLY are.
There WAS other money that came (and went with Dad's care) when IIIIIIIIIIII sold Nany's house 11 1/2 months after her passing...and Dad's sister had already passed by then, so there was NOTHING TO GIVE OR SPLIT WITH ANYONE. That money was used for my father's CARE.
Anyone happen to know how much care facilities cost? How much ER visits cost? Meds for Dementia? Well, yes, if you have a loved one with this disease, you do. You know exactly what I'm talking about. At the end, his care had to be paid for by Medi-Cal because he didn't have enough of this BELOVED money to cover much more of his expenses, AND Burial, AND more ER visits, AND etc., etc., etc. Everything was being turned over to the County and VA, but yes, my brother and I DID use some of that money for his burial before he had the payee program take over his Social Security check. Had we not done that, his final wishes to be buried in New Mexico would not have happened. We would've had to cremate him against his wishes and keep him here somewhere. And YES, we DID use some of that money to pay for our travel expenses to NM for his burial...otherwise neither of us would have been able to go at all. As if THAT needs justification!
So if my Dad's sister's GROWN CHILDREN's (all older than me!) gripe is that they think that they should have ALSO gotten even one dime of the money from the sale of Nany's house, after their mother had passed, when she was purposely not even named on it for THE VERY REASON I AM HAVING TO WRITE ABOUT THIS NOW, they are sick in the head. We gave away $200,000 that was NOT ours to give, and that wasn't enough?
The only CHILD LEFT OF PEARL McDONALD (Nany) WAS ROY FRIE.
Let me write that AGAIN.
The ONLY CHILD LEFT OF PEARL McDONALD WAS ROY FRIE.
The only person named as a beneficiary, for OBVIOUS REASONS TO ALL RIGHT NOW, was Roy Frie.
Are there ANY QUESTIONS left? There shouldn't be. But I remember at least one of these cousins telling me that if one of Nany's kids had passed, that all the money should be split 11 ways...8 kids on their side and 3 on ours. Uh, NO. That's not what the Will said.
Section 8 of the Will reads:
"Should any person not specifically named as a beneficiary in this Will claim all or any part of my estate, then I give, devise and bequeath to such person, whether they be related to me by blood or marriage or not, the sum of $1.00"
Hmmm. Yet they got $200,000 because we thought it was the right thing to do.
Totally against their wishes and the Will.
Section 9 reads:
"If any devisee, legatee or beneficiary under this Will shall contest it or any of its parts or provisions, any share or interest given to that person shall be revoked and shall augment proportionately the share of such beneficiaries as shall not have joined in or participated in said contest."
Do you know what that means?
But we didn't TAKE BACK that money, did we? We didn't follow the Will to the "T" because we thought we were doing the right thing by going against it. But going against it only fed these vultures enough to want more of what wasn't theirs.
WE, meaning myself, my brother or sister, were not named in the Will. It was not left TO US. It was left to ROY FRIE.
NOT me. NOT the 10 other grandchildren and dozens of great grandchildren.
Roy Frie.
Am I stuttering? Should I write in some inbred language for people with pickled brains?
R-O-Y.
F-R-I-E.
Maybe I need to write this again to be extra-clear for my brain-dead, LYING cousins...the ones who in reality, ended up with more 'fun' money than my Dad did, despite their lies to the contrary.
When Papa died...Papa...remember him?...the one who WORKED HIS WHOLE LIFE TO EARN AND SAVE THE MONEY IN QUESTION...when he died, it went to his wife, Pearl (Nany? Ever met her?). Papa had forbid us to allow anything to happen to NANY's money. He FORBID US to allow anyone but my Dad to get anywhere near whatever money she had left, or their house. It had already been discussed that when Nany passed, that NO ONE but US or our Dad be allowed in that house until all legal matters were settled. (But that's not what happened, is it? IS IT?) On his death bed, Papa was still clear enough to ask if we remembered what we were supposed to do. On his death bed, when all the "family" came around crying and acting like they gave a crap, Papa was furious. All the "family" that had been stealing from them every chance they got, who were so furiously jealous over the fact that Nany and Papa "were so stingy" with their money all these years...this "family", all milling around, all emotional...Papa did not buy ONE word or tear, just so you know. He said several times that he couldn't believe all the liars were there crying for him when they never came around unless they wanted something when he was alive and well. Papa referred to the whole area there as "Sin City" because of, well, really, do I need to go into that again?
Then...when Nany passed, she had EXPLICIT wishes about where that money would go. She even put my Dad's name as a joint tenant on her house because she knew that putting her daughter's name on it meant that her daughter's kids would fight for it. Sad, huh? But they're fighting about it NOW and it is a done deal. It's over, people.
OVER!
How much clearer can a person BE with their final wishes?
Just because you don't LIKE their wishes, well, too bad.
I didn't exactly like them myself because we (me, my brother and Dad) felt that my Aunt should get something, and we went against Nany & Papa's wishes and gave our Aunt $200,000. WE DID THAT. US, the one's who are now being pointed at like WE made off with a bunch of money. US, the one's that were instructed to NOT give ANY of that money away...we gave away two hundred thousand dollars and look at what has happened anyway.
WHAT a mistake.
Clearly, Papa and Nany were right all along. We should have just been hard asses and given her nothing because her surviving children are acting like we did just that anyway....JUST like Nany, Papa, my Mom and Dad said would happen. My whole life I thought Nany and Papa were being too paranoid, that they were being a little cold.
Nope. 100% right. Couldn't have been more right.
I am so sorry that they are not here so I can admit that to their faces.
I hope they know.
And let me make THIS clear.
Papa and Nany loved Shirley. Yes, Nany was a pain in the ass, and she wasn't always nice to her daughter, but I think that they were too much alike and butted heads at every corner. That, and the fact that Shirley still had a grudge against Nany for putting all the men Nany had in her life before her kids. That was wrong of Nany, absolutely, but it was history. It was never going to be right between them and that's just life. I have no doubt that Nany now knows just what a pain she could be. But...it doesn't change the fact that Nany and Papa KNEW Shirley. They knew that she would give her last dime to her kids, as she had been doing her whole life. She ran herself into the ground digging most of them out of all the holes they got themselves into...and Papa and Nany absolutely forbid her to allow her kids to get THEIR money. And that is their right. When she got mad at the accusation, that she may allow her children to get their money instead of her, legal forms were filed to protect THEIR money, and my Dad.
Nany and Papa knew that WE would handle it properly and be fair and look out for our Dad.
If that seems selfish to only trust us, oh well. If that's "favoring us", fucking GET OVER IT! It was their money to do with as THEY WISHED.
That was THEIR RIGHT.
THEIR final wishes.
WE never did anything to make our Grandparents distrust us. Even on our worst days, what stupid things we ever did in our lives PALED in comparison to what these people do on a daily basis.
OBVIOUSLY.
Except for not wanting to run into any of these idiots for our Dad's service, I hadn't really even thought about them or what they did with their mother's (gifted) share of this money at all. I really didn't care. It didn't affect me, and it was done. They obviously weren't the family they made themselves out to be, and I don't invite that kind of drama into my life. "Family" is made up of all kinds of people...but only people who have your best interest at heart. They clearly do not, have never, and will never.
They SHOULD be ashamed of themselves, but I know they're not. People who lie will continue to do so. And I shouldn't care because nothing they do or say will change anything now.
But now that these cousins are making such a stink over this...to the point of LYING and then disrespecting our father's wishes...what I'd like to know about this money situation is this: In Jan. 2007 we gave Shirley, their mother, $200,000. She told me herself that she gave each of her 8 kids $5000. That leaves $160,000. I've heard that Shirley bought a few things for a few people, but that she probably didn't spend that much. Afterall, she never really had any money and probably didn't know what to do with it except give it away. Shirley told me personally that she had no intention of using that $200,000 to pay bills...that her bills would die with her. She passed in October of that year (2007)...and it's gone already? From what I'm hearing, there is no money left, or never "was any"...like we never gave her that money at all. We also heard about some "benefit" thrown in our Aunt's honor...like, they raised money to cover expenses for her since she didn't have any? Big Fat LIAR alert!
Funny how these relatives are saying all of these things...like we ran off with "the money" and that's why we didn't call them about our Dad dying.
No, it had nothing to do with the fact that my Dad's final wishes did NOT include THEM.
No, it had nothing to do with the fact that they would have made it all about them and that it would have been a disgrace...that OUR father's final wishes would have been a mockery and a total joke.

So to sum this up...someone pocketed about $100,000 and are lying about it never existing; AND even though their mother had already passed away, they wanted the money from the sale of Nany's house as well even though it was only in our Dad's name...they would WILLINGLY take money from their "beloved Uncle"...who had Dementia, who had enormous bills to pay for his care...money that was NOT theirs to begin with...?; AND they are saying they we didn't call them about our Dad passing away because WE feel guilty about running off with "the money"...even though THEY are the only one's who ended up with any large amount of money...(although apparently depending on who you ask, they're saying we never gave their Mom that money?); OH, aaaaaaand that they gave our Dad, who wanted nothing to do with them, who couldn't believe everything they were willing to do over the years to get drugs, money or whatever they could get their hands on...THEY gave my Dad the send-off he deserved...?
Did I miss anything?
Papa, my god, SIN CITY, indeed...! You weren't kidding. They have done EXACTLY what you said they'd do. They stole, lied, got everything that you worked for and are now lying about never getting anything. After everything...all the stolen checks, money, jewelery, medications, getting all your furniture...$200,000...they're saying "we" got most of everything. Nothing would ever be enough to them...nothing...just like you said. You nailed it. My Mom was right, Nany was right, my Dad was right. We went against what you all wanted and look what it got us...nothing, exactly like you said. EXACTLY. I am so sorry we didn't believe you.
I don't know that I can ever forgive myself for not seeing this. Unbelievable.

I guess lying is contagious. Once you start, you can't stop, and it consumes your whole life.
I hope Jesus really DOES "forgive", you fake Christian cousins, 'cause otherwise me thinks that a few people better start getting the sunscreen and ice chest ready....

2 comments:

no1daughteroflewydad said...

Hi Laine,

OHMG! My blood boiled reading your first couple of lines. They had a send off...one your Father deserved!!!!I'm speechless...a send off out of spite. Again, OHMG!

Families! Yes, we had troubles when my Nana passed away and also with past generations other really, really horrible stuff.

The $200,000, you did what you thought was right. You can live with that and that's the most important thing.

I'd be so angry too.

hoping tomorrow brings some happiness, take care.

Life With Lewy said...

Out of spite...exactly! I actually didn't even think of it that way, but that's totally it, isn't it?
Yes, I keep telling myself that we did the right thing, I know we did, but when that amount of money is STILL not good enough and people have to lie, my god. I wish I had an extra $200,000 to complain about, don't you?
And thanks, by the way, seeing things in other people's perspectives is always a great help!