Liberty Mutual Commercial.

First things first...I really don't like Liberty Mutual.
When I was selling Nany's house, they were a nightmare...they were Nany's house insurance company. Liberty Mutual was the one that sent my cousins a check for thousands of dollars for a false re-roofing claim with NO proof of who they were or claimed to be. All they did was tell someone over the phone that they were "the executor of the will", if you can believe that!? BUT when IIIIIIII called, found this all out and an "investigation" followed, they gave ME the third degree and would barely tell me anything because they said they "weren't sure if I was authorized" even though I was the ONLY person "authorized" at all and I had the legal mumbo jumbo to prove it, unlike other people who are apparently really good liars over the phone. Liberty Mutual even had one of their "investigators" call me, and the guy actually told me that he didn't feel Liberty Mutual was at fault...but that this was just a "simple domestic issue" and that IIIII should "just call these cousins up and get the money back."
Holy COW!
Needless to say that guy got a piece or two of MY mind before I slammed the phone down.
ANYway, that aside...last night on the tube, one Liberty Mutual's "new" commercials from this "responsibility project" campaign they have going came on.
There's a "middle-aged" woman and man in a car, it's raining outside, and the woman is very upset...she's in the passenger seat and the guy is driving.
I know I won't get this word-for-word, but bear with me...
She says something like, "This isn't the first time Dad's gotten lost", then they pan to an elderly man walking into a diner alone, looking a little confused.
They pan back to the people in the car.
She's crying now and says, "I don't think Dad can live alone anymore", and they pan back to the elderly man sitting in a booth eating.
The guy driving the car says, "What are you going to do?"
And the woman says (with a very sharp tone), "What am I going to do? He's our Dad."

Update: (April 21, 2009)
Since I originally posted, this particular commercial has had different "endings"....another being that the woman (the daughter of the man with dementia) tells the man in the car with her, "You're part of this family too".
Either way, despite my severe dislike of this company, I can appreciate that they are putting that message out there.
Hopefully the right people get the message.

Thoughtful people.

After I got back from the errands I got delayed from earlier by Mr. Etiquette Master, there was a message on my machine...
It was from "Immaculate Heart Radio"...which I think is everywhere, but I believe this one was based in Sacramento/Fair Oaks (?). Anyway...someone apparently donated money to them in our honor...?
We donate to all kinds of places/charities, so I had to listen to the name again...and I've never donated there, nor did I know it existed.
That is so, sooooo nice.
I have NO idea who did it, but thank you so much.
Had the station not called to thank "us", I would have never known...an act gone unnoticed...which, actually is sometimes the best way to spread your generosity...but I am thoroughly glad that I now know.
Thank you again, whoever you are.

Dementia IS Contagious, and a lesson in bad manners.

Good God, man. I am demented. Scatter-brained. Idiot!
You would not believe the lengths I have gone to organize my Office, my own mounting piles of papers, unfinished text, stories, jibber-jabbering, bills, artwork, and of course, Daddy's things. I got an entire file system JUST for his bills, legal matters, etc....YET...today, as I am trying to get out the door, the phone rings and...the caller ID says it's the U.S. Government. You don't even want to know what went through my head when I saw that, but I assumed it was the VA or something related.
It was.
A very to-the-point guy said exactly this after I said, "Hello?"...
"Yes, I'm calling...(pause)...about an application for a Veteran's headstone for a Mr. Roy Frie and I need a copy of his Marine discharge papers...(pause)...and you can fax that to...(then he gave me the number)...and you can put that 'attention to' Larry".
And then he hung up.
I didn't get to say anything but hello.
Did the guy think I was an answering machine? He didn't wait for the "beep" if he did...but if he realized I was a person...uh...is that what we've all come to...?...that you state your reason for the call in a run-on sentence and then hang up? If I called the phone company, waited that inevitable half hour to get a real person (who is probably in India) and said, "Yes, this Jane Smith, account number 2121...and I've called because your service stinks and you overcharged me fifteen dollars...credit my bill right now and tell your CEO that I demand that customers be dealt with in a timely manner" Click.
I am so tempted to try that now...would it work, would someone call me back and tell me a thing or two about manners, or would my bill then be charged an EXTRA fifteen dollars?
ANYway...this put me into a panic because I could not, for the life of me, for almost a half hour, find ANYthing related to my Dad's discharge papers....in all my micro-managed organization.
I finally threw myself into my desk chair at the computer and placed my getting-hot-and-red face into my hands...and then it hit me...I remembered...that in order to avoid this VERY thing happening...I had so lovingly placed his discharge papers into my swanky leather bound folder when I traveled to Roswell for the almost-missed burial.

I am a genius.

A half hour LATER!

So then I faxed the paper to this Larry, etiquette master extraordinaire. Too bad he doesn't teach a class...I would sooooo sign up...imagine the things I would learn!

Oh, the VA...just GOTTA love 'em...

Yeah...so as I've mentioned, I have always received and paid Dad's bills. But...once he got the CEPS program and they took over his SS check, etc., and of course since his passing, I've ignored everything that came in. It's done, over with, gone.
No one is responsible for anything anymore. There's no estate, Finito. Nada. Adios.
WELL. I have been receiving what appears to be the same bills from the VA for months now. Before Daddy passed, I was forwarding them to CEPS, and they didn't pay them, so they kept getting sent back to me.
One time a couple of months ago out of curiosity, I opened one and it was all this nonsense about how "because they had not heard from him, his previous VA benefits were canceled" and now he owed something upward of $10,000. He was in THEIR care at the time, at a VA hospital, yet "because they hadn't heard from him...".
Total crock. I had to laugh. So typical of the VA.
Well, I was starting to get a bit annoyed at all the VA-related stuff filling my mailbox, so yesterday, instead of (again, again, again) writing in huge black letters, "DECEASED, Not At This Address", I opened it.
It was a bill, complete with interest, no less!
I called the number for "Questions about your Bill".
Turns out that the VA has in "their official records" (which are NEVER wrong, how dare you even think such a thing?!) that my Dad passed away March 16th. That's only two days prior to my call to them about this, so at first I was treated like a criminal trying to get out of paying for legitimate charges.
I laughed out loud when the lady asked me "if I was sure" that my Dad didn't pass away March 16th...
Uuuuuuuhhhhh, yeah, I'm, um, pretty sure.
Wanna read my blog?
Haha.
I had to ASSURE her that he had indeed passed away January 5th, and she tried to connect me with the "proper people" to make this "official" but they were on the East Coast and already closed. Well of course.
I called those people today, and was again sorta treated like I was trying to pull one over on them. She said I needed to fax a death certificate to "prove his death". Okay, yeah, yeah, that's fine...but I don't need to be treated like an insane bill-dodger while you're dealing with me, people!
But I guess I should mention that she DID say she was "sorry for my loss" before she got off the phone with me.
Gee, thanks.

Crap-ass Blogger and Google

I just spent the last two days trying to access my account. Every time I tried to log in, it told me that "they had determined that my password was too weak and they suggested changing it".
At first I thought my computer had a bug because I have never seen a message like that before, but I decided maybe I should change my password because I have had the same one the whole time.
And then I had to change it again.
And again.
And...again.
None of the new passwords worked and it sent me into this spiraling hellhole of "your password doesn't match" and the "your password it too weak" message would be repeated over and over even though every time I changed the password, it showed me that ridiculous color bar that says whether you have chosen a strong password, which it said I did.
Of course there is no legit "help" in the help center unless you are an idiot and the real problem was that you were entering the wrong password.
With all the technology we have, why do untold thousands of people have to waste time with "help center" that are NO help? What's the point?
I was getting really upset that my blog was gone. I kept thinking that all the hours I spent detailing my Dad's illness was lost to me, or that someone had taken it over...I had no idea. I was able to access my gmail account just fine...which is the same account/password connected with my blog, so all I could figure is that someone was a genius and figured out my "there is no way anyone will ever figure this password out" password, or my computer was hacked, or that blogger sucks.
I now know the answer after two days of changing passwords, but I'm wondering if I print that here that my account will suddenly be unaccesible yet again.
Freakin' new, better, technology my butt.

Just little details now.

I am still a little stuck in a state of "what the...?", but life is moving on. We have been as busy as can be with home projects and the like, trying to catch up on all the fix-it stuff we were too consumed by/with Lewy to get to. That's nice, but strangely, it's made some of the projects that I was looking forward to not as fun or satisfying.
I finally received the paperwork from the Mortuary to send off to the VA for Daddy's Veteran Marker. I was shocked that there were actually other options than the "plain, flat" marker...there was a pillar-type of stone made of granite that I found a little more obvious, eye-catching, and better-suited, so I chose that one.
I was told that once the stone was in place, someone from the Mortuary could e-mail me a picture of the marker, since I have no other reason to ever go back to Roswell. I hope that's true, because this will somehow all seem unfinished until I see that. Funny how we rely on these things to bring us closure...I mean, Lewy's taken my Dad, it's over, I know that...but we emotional humans need these odd little piece's of "concrete evidence" to really close the door for us sometimes.
My weirdo neuropathy and muscle twitching has subsided quite a bit since Lewy has left my life...proof that my Doctor's were right...not that I ever questioned this...but stress was making it ten times worse. It's still here, for sure, but it has lessened to the extent that it's "manageable" now, I guess. I did break down and buy some ugly Birkenstocks to help the pain in my feet, and that's helped too, but overall, the reduction of stress in this portion of my life has been good, despite that my Dad had to leave us for me to get that. I know that every caregiver who has lost someone can totally relate to that. Good things coming from bad things...how do you fully accept that and enjoy it?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure that out.