Sunday, March 15, 2009

Just little details now.

I am still a little stuck in a state of "what the...?", but life is moving on. We have been as busy as can be with home projects and the like, trying to catch up on all the fix-it stuff we were too consumed by/with Lewy to get to. That's nice, but strangely, it's made some of the projects that I was looking forward to not as fun or satisfying.
I finally received the paperwork from the Mortuary to send off to the VA for Daddy's Veteran Marker. I was shocked that there were actually other options than the "plain, flat" marker...there was a pillar-type of stone made of granite that I found a little more obvious, eye-catching, and better-suited, so I chose that one.
I was told that once the stone was in place, someone from the Mortuary could e-mail me a picture of the marker, since I have no other reason to ever go back to Roswell. I hope that's true, because this will somehow all seem unfinished until I see that. Funny how we rely on these things to bring us closure...I mean, Lewy's taken my Dad, it's over, I know that...but we emotional humans need these odd little piece's of "concrete evidence" to really close the door for us sometimes.
My weirdo neuropathy and muscle twitching has subsided quite a bit since Lewy has left my life...proof that my Doctor's were right...not that I ever questioned this...but stress was making it ten times worse. It's still here, for sure, but it has lessened to the extent that it's "manageable" now, I guess. I did break down and buy some ugly Birkenstocks to help the pain in my feet, and that's helped too, but overall, the reduction of stress in this portion of my life has been good, despite that my Dad had to leave us for me to get that. I know that every caregiver who has lost someone can totally relate to that. Good things coming from bad things...how do you fully accept that and enjoy it?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure that out.

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